This is another post from an older blog I kept as Summer and I prepared to adopt our daughter, Sophie. (Originally published June, 2006)
Like Vladimir and Estragon, in Samuel Beckett’s tragicomedy “Waiting for Godot,” it seems as if Godot (read: Sophie or Caleb) will never get here. I wake up each morning to hear the words, “Godot will not come today, but surely tomorrow.” I think the psychological and philosophical challenge posed by eternity is that unlike all other measurements of time, eternity has no beginning and it has no end. This is why this time between the end of our paperwork and our referral feels like an “eternity.” Still, the in-between-times have offered me an insight…I now think I grasp the depth of the Shema. The Shema, “Hear O’ Israel, the Lord your G-d is One” and its continuation that you shall love the Lord with all your heart, soul, and mind. I now know what it means to be consumed (heart, soul, and mind) with the thought of someone else, be it G-d or my child. I am now experiencing something that in the future will serve as a sort of litmus test, if you will, for how much of my being I am actually devoting. Waiting for Godot, waiting for Sophie, waiting for Caleb, has caused me to feel what it means to be devoted fully to something. So, “will Sophie/Caleb come today?” “No, but surely tomorrow.” And eternity rolls on!